The Art of the Ugly Race T-shirt

It must be part of the race director’s code: For shelling out their hard-earned cash to run your event, participants must be rewarded with a t-shirt from the pit of Hell. How else to explain the drawers full of 100% cotton monstrosities we all seem to possess? How else to explain why someone deemed incapable of manning a water stop suddenly acquires a degree in graphic design? Here at Lactic, the biggest race of the year is the Indianapolis 500 Festival Mini-Marathon in early May. And it’s become tradition to see how unspeakably hideous the commemorative t-shirt will be. Plus, it’s always long sleeve, the perfect option for the hot summer ahead. And just how long will it be before the glut of sponsor logos grows so large they’ll have to start silkscreening the armpits? But there is one positive development. A lot more races are now providing technical t-shirts as their giveaway. Proving that we runners will put aside our fine art sensibilities and wear paint-by-number masterpieces or one of John Wayne Gacy’s clowns as long as you offer the solemn promise not to chafe our nipples.